I have seen that one of the big torture in this life is to create needs, to grow dependent on things or people that we can't have power on, cannot control.
Going this way we definetly choose to hurt ourselves.
We don't decide to grow spiritual and to evolve as free spiritual individuals on their healing way.
In our life we meet people, we fall in love, we build friendship bonds, we dream of forevers, we want more, we also think we need those people sometimes way too much to be healthy.
Sometimes we grow destructive passion, we get addicted to someone's presence and we stop everything just for their own sake.
We expect too much from others.Or we do as they want/wish/say so that we won't lose them.
Is that healthy?
I rememeber a quote that said love is forgetting oneself.
I believe love is self less but to some extent.
To completely forget oneself is good from time to time through meditation,yoga and art for instance but it's important to be connected to our inner source, to be able to get to know ourselves more, to discover always more about who we are, what we are capable to do, how we can keep on evolving and learning and to be able to nurture this source.to feel safe.to feel home inside.In this little place for our soul to keep growing.
We'd better be able to know and love oneself to be able to endure the roller coaster of relationships of any kind.
It's not an easy thing.
We,human beings needs some feedbacks, some true sharing, it's the great difference between loneliness and solitude.
the difference between true/honest/sincere love/attachment and dependence/need.
The true dereliction can drive us crazy that is why we have to build bond and find the like minded ones with whom we can interact and share our world/thoughts/dreams and inspirations.
Yet we should all also be able to enjoy ourselves on our own, just doing the things we love.
singing , creating,painting, dancing, writing, whatever makes you feel good, makes you feel safe and at home.
we need to feel proud of ourselves, to be able to see our qualities, our knowledge and so forth and not keep on waiting always for approvals.
I do know compliments are lovely to the ears, but if you live by them, then you're not free.
You limit yourself.
you think your own definition is only through others eyes, which is a way to lose yourself I think.
It is such a great feeling to feel so fine on our own, no need, just twirling in the music or swaying in a peaceful silence in the forest, walking out with your favourite music in your ears.
To feel as one, to feel alone and yet connected, belonging down here, not lost in space and time.
For this of course you need to have some passions/interests( to developpe them and find your talents/skills and all)
you also need to feel confidence, to trust yourself, this life, this world, to feel at home wherever you go, because you're with your best friend: your spirit/your soul
Here are some questions for you to answer and think:
1)Do you need another person to feel complete?why?
Can you enjoy yourself alone?
remember a moment when you were alone and had a laughter, a good feeling, felt special, felt love for yourself, felt happy on your own...
2)How do you deal with solitude?what do you do in your spare time?
do you feel the need to fill the void? are you scared of silence? empty space?loneliness?
3)How do you deal with relationships?friendships?
do you need friends to go somewhere or can you just go on your own and enjoy yourself?
4)If you are able to feel complete and happy on your own, do you feel the need to know those who have hurt you are unhappy now you're not in their life? do you have some anger or old grudge in your saying "I'm just fine on my own and don't need anybody to be me"?
5) do you need approvals and constant feedback to create/share?where does it come according to you?
do you easily give compliments to others?
6)who are your "believing mirrors"( the people who give you trust in yourself cuz they see the best of you) and how they healthily help you be yourself?
Now a creative prompt for those who feel like it.
Compare solitude and loneliness with self portraiture to make a diptych.
Either you can use my picture of nature and create your own diptych with your self portrait or just make your very own diptych with what inspire you solitude and what is looks lonely to you around us in nature or city.
you can feel free to show your work here or post a link to your blog entry :)
thank you for taking part and reading, Blessed be!
Solitude
Loneliness
